You know how you look at some things every day, and you think you know everything about them? WRONG. YOU KNOW NOTHING.  For example, the day I realized that the Phantom of the Opera was actually Gerard Butler marked an actual turning point in my life. Things could just never be the same after that. So here I am, giving you a list of 13 more facts that will make you feel like everything you’ve ever known is a lie. you should probably have your therapist’s number handy, just in case.

Want more lists? Read 10 Things. Want more random nonsense? Try Some Days You Just Can’t Get Rid of a Bomb.

6 facts that might just break your brain

1. 
   

   Magic 8-balls are decidedly not magical.

Look at this ridiculous D-20 and tiny cylinder of blue mystery liquid. This is not what I signed up for, y’all. My husband has a little 8-ball on his desk that he sometimes uses while he’s working to help him make a decision (I can hear you from the other room, dear) and these pictures make me want to throw it into oncoming traffic. I won’t, because that’s not what a Proverbs 31 woman would do, but oh boy do I want to.

2. The tiny pocket inside the front pocket of your jeans is not for holding illicit substances.

I mean, I can’t stop you from putting whatever you want in there, but Jesus is watching, friends. I guess originally this was intended for pocket watches, since cowboys were too fancy for wrist watches (Or they weren’t invented yet, whatever). This is curious, considering that we still have this pocket but not the pocket-watches the pocket was made for. Not to mention the fact that I took this picture of the actual working, real pocket in my toddler’s jeans, which seems like a whole other level of unnecessary, but I digress.

3. The phrase “What in tarnation” actually stand for something.

If you are like me, you just assumed that this weird cowboy phrase meant about as much as “drier than a popcorn fart”, but apparently? It means “what in eternal damnation”, which makes it a bit more intense than I’m comfortable with, If I’m being honest.

4. Stop signs are written in all caps, and it’s weird when they’re not

Look at this. Look. At. This. 
Okay now stop looking. It’s weird.

5. Bananas, oranges, and grapes are actually berries.

No, yeah, you read that right. Also? Pineapples are not citrus fruits. I mean, I guess I never really thought about what a banana might actually be, but berry was definitely not on my list of possibilities. HEY guess what else: Strawberries aren’t really berries. Fruit is weird and fruit classification feels like it was done by someone very, very high.

6. Bernie Mac thought George Clooney played too much.

“Clooney always plays. He [plays] too da** much. You gotta watch Clooney. You come in the door, a bucket of water [will] fall on your head. He got it propped up at the top. You got tacks in your seat, all that kind of bullsh**. He found a rabbit cage and let it loose in your room. You gotta watch Clooney,” said Mac, God rest his weary soul.

Like guys, literally one time Clooney was apparently staying with Matt Damon, who was trying to lose weight… Clooney took Damon’s pants into a tailor and had them taken in by 1/8″ every day. The commitment on this one is mind-boggling.

There. Now you’ve had your 7 things.

Y’all, I love random facts like this. I have a small collection of random facts books that get more use than my recipe books sometimes. If you’re interested, here are Amazon links to the books pictured at the top, since they are my favorites and I definitely recommend them. (These are affiliate links, and you can read about what that means and get all the legal mumbo-jumbo here)

That is all.